Eagle, Pices, Kthxbye, The Enlightened One.

It's cute.... NOW all of a Sudden you see me.... while I sat there invisible to you for soooo long... I text-ed you... you blew me off. I asked to hang out... you had better plans.... you made me feel alone, you outcast-ed me, and made me ashamed to feel good about myself.... and then I found you. <3 You never outcast-ed me, you never ignored me, and you loved unconditionally... and you said if I loved unconditionally they would love me too....so I bit the bullet, and accepted you, and you turned my world upside down, took away the hate, and replaced it with love.....and now here we are almost a year later, and YOU are noticing me, YOU'VE started to see... "hey wait... that crazy Mother fucker actually has his shit together...maybe he wasn't so crazy after all..." but the damage is done. I studied you, I manipulated you, and by God I can't stand who you are in your current condition. I do believe in you, but I'm just not helping you anymore. "Give a Man a fish and you feed him for a day, TEACH a man to fish and you FEED HIM FOR A LIFETIME." -Jesus Christ of Nazareth, Son of Orflec the Butcher.

I'm so inspired lately, and it's never gonna stop. If you are one of the many people I would call friends and are NOW starting to notice that I'm a HUMAN FUCKING BEING to you I say.... hi! I missed you.... I wanted you to like me, be more like you....you have helped me to see, so I thank you. You are wonderful. :) I AM I SAID, TO NO ONE THERE..... AND NOONE HEARD AT ALL, NOT EVEN THE CHAIR.... I AM I CRIED!!!!!! I AM, SAID I... and I am lost, and I can't even say why....Leaving me lonely still.... I'm happy, because you loved me. When I needed you.... you threw me under the bus... you sent me away, locked me away in Evanston.... but I studied them. I had to lose it all, to see it all truly... I talked with the Mentally "Ill." I helped them, they helped me. I learned I am not them, but for YOUR ego I took the brand "Bi-Polar." For you I accepted extremely harsh and critical Judgment, and you curb stomped my jaw onto the fucking pavement like in AMERICAN HISTORY X. But it's okay, I'm stronger than you, I laughed inside and secretly took it. :) Now I watch you, hoping you will someday see what is I've actually been trying to do for you since I woke up.

That's about all that's on my mind. Do not mistake this blog for anger, I am NOT ANGRY. I've seen Anger, it's ugly. If you need help, just ask.... there are lot's of us out there willing to help you, but you just don't see us.... we're invisible to you... I know....because you did it to me, and I forgive you. I just don't necessarily like you, and if you want to make amends then all I ask is the next time we talk... take a second to listen to me. kthxbye. =)

Honoring Thy Loved Ones

Let the Record be known that I am pissed at my brother because he is a poison that drags me down and makes me feel bad about myself. Today he said and I quote "You haven't changed, I haven't noticed anything."

Now to honor my Heros.

Batman: He is a BILLIONAIRE.... but he's not like the corrupt mother fucking billionaires in this world... he spends his money on helping people and kicking ass. Bruce Wayne is a true hero. =)

I need not explain this.

Blaine Willis you are more of a brother to me than my older brother ever was. That is why I named my son Blayne, but you already know this. =)

Super Batman God are like THIS.

There is a warrant out for my arrest.... lmao I don't give a fuck. Fuck you Powell Police. :D Anyway today was a good day, but most days are. I'm listening to pitch perfect right now, which was a recommendation from my buddy Glen. It's alright, but these guys are singing a Rhianna song and idk if they did it better or not... probably not. I'm excited for the meeting at work on Monday!... Well that is if I get to go... I believe God is with me, and won't lead me into too much trouble. Plus sometimes a little trouble is good for you. =) Had it not been for jail the first time, I would not have picked up the bible and learned about the man himself Jesus of Nazareth.

Hmmmm the More I listen to this Pitch Perfect, the more addicting it gets!! It's like Music for the ADHD. Example. "Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it... sex baby lets talk about sex, lets talk about sex baby....all through the night I'll make love to you, like you want me too... and I guess that's just the woman in you, that brings out the man in me....it feels like the first time, it feels like the very first time...etc." Anyway.... I'm so happy, I've been buying my friends and family Christmas presents, and spending my money because I believe it is the root of all evil. I'm horny.

I love to laugh, and lately that's all I do. I was recently invited to be part of a Facebook group called Dolun'z Raep Group and I was given the character Laenerdo Dcrapio. I love these memes, I even made my own that was pretty funny. It's fun to type in "Broken English" but also really difficult, because it's like a whole new language...and it's not nearly as easy as people think it is to master... but why do I waste my time on it? idk... it makes me laugh and It cures my boredom. 

 

 Well, who knows what tomorrow brings, but I honestly don't care, because with my luck it should be fantastic and full of laughs. As a wise cartoon animal once said, "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, and today is a gift... that is why it's called the present." Y u do dis? Because I can. <3

Foggy Mountain Fingers

Oh Aphrodite don't you here me calling, summoning you from my loins, I beg you to sit down upon my hard erect cock and let me burst into you full of love and passion you oh so strongly crave and desire! I want to taste your nipples, as if they were star bursts bursting so flavorously  into my mouth! I want to you to make me beg, but then squeal like a school girl when your flesh meets mine..... damn I get horny sometimes...

I like laying here in my well cleaned room, on my well made bed just typing away every thought that decided to pop into my head. I'm tired of time, that is keeping tack of it. But being on other people's time is important I've learned, or you get fired from a job at your Local Quickstop Gas Station.... whatever at least I'm T.I.P.S. Certified till 2015, meaning I can sell liquor and tobacco to people.

Tonight I had a good time with my friends Glen, Ben, Nicole, and some dude whose name escapes em at the moment, but right now who car.... oh it was Shane. He's a pretty nice guy, enjoyed some Mary out of a titty peace. Ahhh yeah. My cuz is coming over in a little bit for a cig, I'ma suprise him by taking him to maverick and buying him a pack. :) oh good Karma. lol

So I have returned to my home, bat-man robe and boxers only laying here typing again. Cuz seemed happy that I bought him smokes, and I got him a Gatorade too. =) I also baught myself a toothbrush.... damn you teeth, why do I keep forgetting to brush you!! Oh well, in order to create a new habit, just have to keep it up. My mom's doing this weird hysterical laughing thing she does... I kind of like it when she does it, makes me know she's thinking happy thoughts. I love that feeling, the feeling of happiness circulating through you. Oh Joy! Anyway, that is all for now, but remember... he who knows nothing, knows nothing.

Gorgeous Forgotten Problems

I am at peace finally, or at least I do believe I am. I have had so many great things happen to me as of late, and I know that the source is my almighty creator. I've been on a kick for months, where I have been working to improve my quality of life simply by cutting out the things I considered to be stressful, and replacing them with things that make me happy. When I start to feel lonely, I remember there is always music, or a video game, or someone out there who is feeling the same way I am. It's a silly feeling really,  how many people live on this planet, how dare any of us say we feel lonely!

Meeting Sophia was a mind trip, but Sophia, wherever you are thank you.... for showing me that I'm not crazy, and that this world truly is a wonderful place to be, (IF you know the right people, and are generally a good person). You are BEAUTIFUL and I would gladly do what it takes to make you feel loved and appreciated from my end...though I could never date you. ha. Good thing you"re getting married anyways. =) Also you smoke a lot of pot, that is always a plus!

What do I want? I want all beings to be released from suffering, because honestly that's what we need. Not everyone can escape their suffering like I did.... it takes a strong mind to overcome the fuckin darkness that can consume a person... Anyways, I'm tired. Goodnight. =)

Alice Cooper's Ugly Baby

Out of a boredom, depression, confusion, and loneliness a blog was born... This Blog, Matt'z World.

Man has it been a long time since I've posted a blog! I sat here tonight and re-read all of my blogs, mentally analyzed myself, and was happy. I'm pretty funny... my sense of humor is different, but it gets me every time. I think I'm gonna start doing this again, mainly for myself as that is what a blog is, but now I'm not necessarily interested in anyone reading this...(I used to want people to read it!!!) I was kind of embarrassed by some of my posts before, but I shouldn't be. THAT BEING SAID: So much has happened, so much has changed.... all in a good and positive way so that's good.

Highlights? Fucked some guys girlfriend in HIS car, drunken loving sex on my bed, sex at the fair with the fairest of maidens, sex with an older but VERY FLEXIBLE woman, and that's all that my mind is currently choosing to remember.... but point is my goal for most of my blog's was finding love and sex... I found the sex.... and dodged the bullet that is known as love. =)

I don't want love (in the relationship sense) anymore. I love myself, God, and my family. My two amazing children Grace and Blayne with all of my heart and soul. You can keep your "love" I've been so mentally raped and mindfucked with other people's perception of what "love" is.... and I'll be just fine doing my own thing...I will love you though, I just don't want you tarnishing it's beauty for me.

I work at Hansels! :) I like working there... I am a great cook, fast, clean, and overall I enjoy what I do. I can save money, buy the things I want, give money away to people in need, whatever and I do all of those things on a daily basis. Blaine Willis is my best friend, and [Moon/Sun] is my crush... I like her a lot... she's so beautiful and has a daughter. She works at Hansel's too... she is probably the only girl at this juncture in my life that could make me abandon my abandoment of other's love... I make no sense sometimes... and I've known her forever too lol that's a plus. Mostly I think it's just because I find her so fascinating... but she never texts me back... so like I said, you can keep your "love" I don't need it.... just bogs my mind down with whiny bitch feelings of loneliness and emptiness.

Oh and I stopped taking my meds. Fuck that shit. Pay out the ass for a a poison that is killing me, and making me wish daily and nightly that I was dead... naaa. I love life now, I maintain a pretty awesome scale of happiness, and am rarely Sad, Angry, or Lonely. I've learned how to be happy with me, with the simple things in life, and not to care so much what anyone thinks of me. It's MY mind I have to live with, I prefer this one that enjoys living.