She Devil, Mage Protection.

Today I had my first Psychiatrist appointment, and it was alright. We talked about me, me, me. How boring. I guess that's the point though, talking and getting yourself out. I should have laid on the couch, just like I had always imagined. Well that might have been weird, but oh well. He s the one, who doesn't forget what he was talking about. That's exactly what I did. I forgot what I was talking about, and too lazy to read up ahead. I understand that when it comes to poor life, I don't understand anything. I see a world full of corrupt power and greediness, not the world I want to see. I speak no evil, unless I'm caster a spell of delicious fury. I love all, who love me in return. I do what I want, limited heavily on what society wants. I feel like a waste of space, whose nature is self needed. I am what I am, and I can't change that. I love everything about where life is, or how it goes. I want to be a happy person living the life, having work and a steady income with no worries. I hate living in confusion, it makes my brain foggy. I wonder where I'm going in life, right now sitting watching family guy enjoying it, but rather who is Matthew Jessen and what does he want to do?

I'm supposed to hang out with a girl named Amanda that should be fun. It beats sitting around at home wishing I was off doing something with Amanda. I wonder why people are so money driven. I hate feeling stressed, and it eats away at my soul like a succubus thirsting for a man's cock. I see Persephone as two people, the most beautiful bride a person could ask for, and a blood sucking monster that I can't stand. I want to fight the evil in my life, the dark side, but I can't get past the fact that the power is unimaginable and better. What do I really want in life? Sex. I think no matter how I try, or where I go, I can't escape the fact that I am sexually deprived and I need to get my rocks off in something. I want a bunch of beautiful girls, drugs, and partying and sex everywhere.

Disoriented, unable to sleep I don't like being in my own skin today. I hate it actually, all of a sudden in a flash of a moment life got hard again, when I made a goal of things being easy. I hate when things get hard, except for my cock, it can get hard and stay hard forever as far as I'm concerned. I'm so fucking lonely, surrounded by the same thing that in Evanston would have made me happy. Maybe that's just me, maybe I'm incapable of being a happy person.